This post is going to be a bit personal! So have fun sipping your tea… So from the title of this blog post, you can guess I have never dated anyone before! I can hear all the gasps now. Yup, I’m in my early twenties and have never dated before. But I’m sure I’m not alone in this, it may be rare but not unusual for someone my age. Don’t feel bad or discouraged if you’re in the same boat. But we’re also not special snowflakes because we have never dated, so let’s not boast and lord it over others about this fact.
So why have I never dated? Well, to be very honest, I have no idea! Is it because I’m unattractive? I don’t know. Am I unapproachable? Maybe. Is it because you’re awkward? Well… Are my standards too high? It might be. Is it because I’m too lit? Possibly. There are so many reasons as to why I am still single and I don’t and won’t know them all but what I do know is I trust God.
Singleness is often seen as a blessing and a curse. When you’re single, you literally have all the time in the world for yourself and can do whatever you want (within reason), but when you find yourself in a relationship, you are a bit more restricted. The downside to singleness I guess, is the lack of intimacy with that one person – the hugs, kisses and deep intimate conversations. In my singleness, the biggest thing I find that I really enjoy about it is the time I have. For me, singleness is the time to discover more about myself – my likes and dislikes, building and developing myself, learning how to deal with my emotions in a healthy way, and of course, learning to be a woman of God. I know there is a lot of TRASH in my system (mind, soul and body) that I need to deal with and get rid of. This is the time to do so.
I can also say that singleness is a waiting period as well. I am waiting for that special guy to take some brave steps and actually date me. Waiting does not mean passively waiting. I believe in “active” waiting. Be busy and do you and if you do meet someone you are interested in, show active signs of interest. Men aren’t mind-readers. Just don’t cross the boundaries and manipulate situations just to get his attention. Ultimately, men know what they want and if its not you, deal with the response appropriately and swiftly move on. You deserve better, sis. And men, vice versa. There is always someone better than the one who rejected you.
While, this may sound contradictory, I am also not waiting for him at the same time. You see, I don’t believe I’m owed a partner or even marriage. This is not something God promised He’d give to everyone. Although a natural and good desire, it must not become an idol. Relationships and marriage is a gift that must not be desired more than the gift-giver! So that may mean a relationship may not be on the cards for me in the next year, next 10 years or ever! You can have fulfilling relationships that are not romantic too. Plus you are whole in Christ and can find complete satisfaction in Him. I really believe that if you are currently single, it’s because God wants you to be. He has a plan for you. God has got you and only wants the best for you. You are worth the wait too.
He is preparing His promises for you while also preparing you to be entrusted with them. Hebrews 10:36 (NLT) says, “Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” Sometimes, God makes us go through seasons of waiting so that we can develop patience and endurance. After all, patience is a fruit of the Spirit, right?
So is it weird that I have never dated anyone before? Perhaps. But I look forward to what God is going to do in my life regardless.